i am bitter! i am bitter! i am bitter!

well, at least i think i am. many reasons. but they all essentially boil down to one root cause: women. we love them so much, however, they are too damn cruel. some of them without realising. but cruel all the same. we men can also....

ag fuck it. i am bitter! and i'm sticking to it...

-S.

i love song...

here be the Waters of March. purely deep. i purely love.

A stick, a stone, it's the end of the road
It's the rest of a stump, it's a little alone
It's a sliver of glass, it is life, it's the sun
It is night, it is death, it's a trap, it's a gun
The oak when it blooms, a fox in the brush
A knot in the wood, the song of a thrush
The wood of the wind, a cliff, a fall
A scratch, a lump, it is nothing at all
It's the wind blowing free, it's the end of the slope
It's a beam it's a void, it's a hunch, it's a hope
And the river bank talks of the waters of March
It's the end of the strain
It's the joy in your heart
The foot, the ground, the flesh and the bone
The beat of the road, a slingshot's stone
A fish, a flash, a silvery glow
A fight, a bet the range of a bow
The bed of the well, the end of the line
The dismay in the face, it's a loss, it's a find
A spear, a spike, a point, a nail
A drip, a drop, the end of the tale
A truckload of bricks in the soft morning light
The sound of a shot in the dead of the night
A mile, a must, a thrust, a bump,
It's a girl, it's a rhyme, it's a cold, it's the mumps
The plan of the house, the body in bed
And the car that got stuck, it's the mud, it's the mud
A float, a drift, a flight, a wing
A hawk, a quail, the promise of spring
And the river bank talks of the waters of March
It's the promise of life, it's the joy in your heart
A stick, a stone, it's the end of the road
It's the rest of a stump, it's a little alone
A snake, a stick, it is John, it is Joe
It's a thorn in your hand and a cut in your toe
A point, a grain, a bee, a bite
A blink, a buzzard, a sudden stroke of night
A pin, a needle, a sting a pain
A snail, a riddle, a wasp, a stain
A pass in the mountains, a horse and a mule
In the distance the shelves rode three shadows of blue
And the river talks of the waters of March
It's the promise of life in your heart
A stick, a stone, the end of the road
The rest of a stump, a lonesome road
A sliver of glass, a life, the sun
A knife, a death, the end of the run
And the river bank talks of the waters of March
It's the end of all strain, it's the joy in your heart

-S.

i hate you!

this is a short poem i have composed. it's called "i hate you"

i hate you
i love the fact that i hate you
the fact that i love that i hate you liberates me
you are what i hate

i hate the way you treat me
i hate the way you talk to me
i hate everything about 123
i hate the way you always leave me dry!

if this be an error, and upon me proven
then, Virgin Mobile, i will still hate you, even the day after tomorrow!

-S.

this one is a dedication to you...

you're here, i'm pleased
i really dig your company
your style, your smile, your peace mentality
Lord have mercy on me
i was blind, but now i see...

yesterday i took a long walk with you, i cannot say that it was around the block, although it was after dark. i liked it. it was cold. i did not care. i appreciate it. you are one of the best people i know. i tell you this all the time. sometimes you don't believe me. sometime you do just a little bit. still, you rock! my world!

-S.

the key is within...

kajdf akjdfka lkoeiwr qeuer mdnf k er odkjsa fle oerkjd kloe! dksjakf odhgnjb ppekjs wiusdfkj we kja ere? lskjro eald ghwpqa ldsdfljwp... niht ksjdfn oaiehr nlksdor lkjaow s ldkweo rlskd wesp lkdf? kjdfeo? adkjfe!!! ksdjfeoi, kdfk. e dksf er adf dfd k sdf klkjre lkd kloeik lo!

-S.

i don't really like Lira but...

I just wanna feel good everyday
I wanna wear smile upon my face
I wanna feel the joys of the day
I wanna feel alight in every moment
Said I won't wast time on feeling blue
I won't waste time on things I cannot change
I'm gonna live this day as best as I can
Doing everything that feels right

Singing la la la lala la

I wanna hear the laughter of a child
I wanna feel the hug from a loving friend
I wanna hear "I love you" every now and then
I wanna show somebody that I care
Cause feeling good is a choice that we all make
Just like a smile is a small effort you make
I love to feel the nudeness of a brand new day
Happy to be alight today

Singing la la la lala la

-S.

the land of the Queen

London is beautiful. well, what i have seen so far. i am loving it. it's great that i brought my CV along. i do not have a camera because up until now i have not seen the use for it. but i'll be sure to capture most of the moments i come across... using my mobile... inbetween work. here is one picture it thought to be great:

this be the famous St. Paul's Cathedral, in case it was not recognisable. i will see if there is more i can upload.

-S.

a sequence of uneasy events...

lately, it has become difficult to keep up with the blogging. not just the blogging. life. work. and everything else. i find it difficult to have fun. you know, like i used to. i find it difficult, in fact - annoying, to believe that i am still an ordinary person. i find it difficult to even drink. i tried alles. wine. beer. vodka. brandy. whiskey. fuck, none of them seem to go down well. not like they used to. i hate traffic. i hate coming back from work tired. i hate waking up early in the morning. i, i, i hate the fact that general life has become so [un]characteristically challenging. what is life? a journey? to where? fuck it! lemme sleep.

i am not angry. i am just finding it difficult.

-S.

[no title]

"Everytime I see you I squeeeeze you like you my teddy bear baby"

-S.

+vity

it's been two months. well, almost. the 26th of December has been a long time away -- that's an aside. oh, and i didn't know what to post on this post until i started it. and then it hit me:

Birds flying high
You know how I feel
Sun in the sky
You know how I feel
Reeds driftin' on by
You know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good

enough said.

-S.

house on a move...

well, what more can i say. this past weekend i was away, just for a day - ok, for half a day. here is what i captured while i was on the move. really interesting stuff i tell you:

and there is more...

an interesting price to whoever to correctly guess this location. ayeye!!!

TIA.

-S.

ambulance for sale...?

it so happened that on Sunday i was driving around the western part of Pretoria, you know, looking for something that might spark a business opportunity. i was really unsuspecting when i came across this scenario which i captured to share:

i dunno what your take from your point of view is, but it seemed to me that since i was standing at a car dealer, where most of the vehicles had price tags (like the two of the three in the picture), with no sign of a workshop whatsoever, i can only conclude that the ambulance in the picture was not there to be repaired, but rather, to be sold. who holds the top job in our health system again? yah, her. she should see this picture!

somewhere out there, there ought to be a police van for sale. yes?

-S.

if i were at least 50% of ANC...

...i would vote against our president of the state taking on i term yesithathu in office. let there be change. let some one else assume responsibility. let's speak about something else rather than the usual segregatory camps that are apparent (or not). let it be whomever but the current top man. male. female. it don't matter. i wish i could be louder than this.

MUCH LOUDER!

-S.

i am not gay, but...

today i came across this gentleman who just blew me away. i met him in the lift. youngish. he carried himself professionally as we conversed about nothing while the lift was travelling from floor 22 to LG. his cologne was distinctive. and his choice of fabric was delicate, yet strong. i felt funny after that encounter. i was like "huh?!?" if i were a girl, i'm almost certain that i would have made that lift stop. and squeeze him in the corner for a bit of bump bump bump... just for about 2.7 minutes*. he he he!

-S.

* i dunno how this time relates the a male's or female's orgasm.

this facebook thing...

is truly a waste of [my] time. i cannot figure out the system. i dunno, i just feel so disoriented when i have logged in, i cannot find my wall, my funwall, sometimes my friends, the people that i have requested to add to my list of friends, the list goes on. so, right now i am saying "screw it! i ain't gonna spend more time on the system. yah!"

on the other hand, i hear that the facebook south african network is so deep that some of the political parties (read: the ANC and its friends) has it in their strategy to campaign for the next election even on facebook. tight, i wanna see JZ's profile. and his funwall. he he he!!!

-S.

i love you, but you are arguably the most challenging thing that has ever happened to me...

i feel like a girl.

i have exposed myself wholly and now i feel so bare and vulnerable and ... and i am finding myself in this stupid emotional rollercoaster and ... and i know that my feelings towards her are at their meanest depth but fuck, why has things turned out this way vele? why am i so unstable? why am i feeling like this? why am i even asking these questions? why? why? fuckin' why? sometimes i wish that i could just erase all the bits and patches in my memory that lead me into feeling this way. sometimes i wish that my DNA could have been encoded somewhat differently. sometimes i just wish that i cared less than i actually do. sometimes i wish that i was not this jealous. am i jealous or do i just care too much? either way, fuck it!

i hate me when me is like this.

-S.

me, i do not fall asleep...

social networking and general Web browsing is addictive. unlike some people who fall asleep while trying to get their way around the Internet, i struggle to let go of the damn laptop, put it on hibernate and dos (sleep). i find myself doing so many things (arb things at that) and forgetting to do others, which sometimes i remember to do when i wake up to go drink water in the middle of my sleep. then i would continue where i left off. such crap.

this was one of those random posts. all hail to randomness...

-S.

"you're an idiot sometimes you know that?"

---
id·i·ot [id-ee-uht] –noun
1. an utterly foolish or senseless person.
2. Psychology. a person of the lowest order in a former classification of mental retardation, having a mental age
---

call me an idiot, but not to my face. and make sure that i do not find out. period. for if i do, shit, i will not be happy about it. probably forever. as it stands, i remember all the people (2) that have, in my lifetime, called me (either to my face, or i found out) some variation of idiot. it really, truly hurts. especially since i cannot, in both instances, substantiate they calling me what they called me. and worse of all, recovery is never really 100%. with me at least. sometimes i hate the fact that i can dwell on certain issues forever. perhaps i should work on that. but i can't see me working through being called idiot. i don't know how to... i can forgive yes, but forgetting is a long shot.

-idiot.

kunzima emhlabeni

empeleni, isihloko salombhalo asixhumani nesizathu sokuthi ngibhale lesis'qeshana. sekunesikhathi nokho ngagcina ukubhala indatshana ngolimi lwasekhaya, uma ngikhumbula kahle, sekuphele iminyaka cishe emihlanu yonke, kanti futhi kuyabonakala ukuthi ngisho noma ngisakwazi ukuhlanganisa umusho ophelele ngolwasekhaya, uhlanganiseka ngobukhulu ubunzima. engabe iyozala nkomoni ezizukulwaneni eziyolandela thina uma sekuza emkhakheni wezamasiko nobuntu? ngike ngezwa abanye abafokazi bedingida lona loludaba lwamasiko nezilimi, besho bethi nabo abacabangi ukuthi emuva kweminyaka engamashumi amabili kusukela manje, izilimi zethu ziyobe zisamsulwa kuhle kwasemandulo.

ngale kwalokho, kubalulekile bakwethu ukuthi sizame ngazo zonke izindlela ukungakhohlwa imvelaphi yethu ngoba phela yithi thina sizukulwane samanje esinomthelela owedlulele ekutheni izizukulwane eziyosilandela zibe nolwazi kanye nentshisakalo yokwazi kabanzi ngemvelaphi yabo.

okwamanje, ngiyema lapha.

-S.

dear Souper Sandwich...

it's been a while since you and me met. i long for that reunion. you were the best thing in my life for so long in the past. you had figured me out. not many people are good with that. some tried taking your place. the weird stuff at McHarry's, the Chinese delicacies and even the wors rolls and chicken burgers along Jammie stairs tried to pull a fast one on you. but no, you were too strong for them. without even trying. i liked it a lot sticky. with extra cheese. even with my eyes closed. you totally rocked! i'm sure you still do. how i miss you. how i long for you. one day. one day you and i will be reunited.

-S.