down, but not completely out...

well, the title of this post isn't quite what it means :)

i have been away from blogging for years now, literally. maybe it's because i grew old; or maybe it's because other aspects of technology replaces blogging, angazi. i am not on twitter by the way (i don't recall twitter's existence that last time i blogged). LOL.

anyhoo, that's me. i will, from time to time, post one or two or however-many posts here. just for fun.

laters.

'tis winter indeed...

the winter evening settles down, with smell of steaks in passage ways...

winter has hit us finally and unfortunately. it reminds me of the PRELUDES (TS Eliot). well, the winter that is the season, and the winter that my life has reached. quite interesting, saddening, dull, cold, etc. the only good part about winter is that in not so long a time we will be in spring...

adios. i miss blogging.

i hate you!

this is a short poem i have composed. it's called "i hate you"

i hate you
i love the fact that i hate you
the fact that i love that i hate you liberates me
you are what i hate

i hate the way you treat me
i hate the way you talk to me
i hate everything about 123
i hate the way you always leave me dry!

if this be an error, and upon me proven
then, Virgin Mobile, i will still hate you, even the day after tomorrow!

-S.

a sequence of uneasy events...

lately, it has become difficult to keep up with the blogging. not just the blogging. life. work. and everything else. i find it difficult to have fun. you know, like i used to. i find it difficult, in fact - annoying, to believe that i am still an ordinary person. i find it difficult to even drink. i tried alles. wine. beer. vodka. brandy. whiskey. fuck, none of them seem to go down well. not like they used to. i hate traffic. i hate coming back from work tired. i hate waking up early in the morning. i, i, i hate the fact that general life has become so [un]characteristically challenging. what is life? a journey? to where? fuck it! lemme sleep.

i am not angry. i am just finding it difficult.

-S.

+vity

it's been two months. well, almost. the 26th of December has been a long time away -- that's an aside. oh, and i didn't know what to post on this post until i started it. and then it hit me:

Birds flying high
You know how I feel
Sun in the sky
You know how I feel
Reeds driftin' on by
You know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good

enough said.

-S.

house on a move...

well, what more can i say. this past weekend i was away, just for a day - ok, for half a day. here is what i captured while i was on the move. really interesting stuff i tell you:

and there is more...

an interesting price to whoever to correctly guess this location. ayeye!!!

TIA.

-S.

if i were at least 50% of ANC...

...i would vote against our president of the state taking on i term yesithathu in office. let there be change. let some one else assume responsibility. let's speak about something else rather than the usual segregatory camps that are apparent (or not). let it be whomever but the current top man. male. female. it don't matter. i wish i could be louder than this.

MUCH LOUDER!

-S.

i am not gay, but...

today i came across this gentleman who just blew me away. i met him in the lift. youngish. he carried himself professionally as we conversed about nothing while the lift was travelling from floor 22 to LG. his cologne was distinctive. and his choice of fabric was delicate, yet strong. i felt funny after that encounter. i was like "huh?!?" if i were a girl, i'm almost certain that i would have made that lift stop. and squeeze him in the corner for a bit of bump bump bump... just for about 2.7 minutes*. he he he!

-S.

* i dunno how this time relates the a male's or female's orgasm.

this facebook thing...

is truly a waste of [my] time. i cannot figure out the system. i dunno, i just feel so disoriented when i have logged in, i cannot find my wall, my funwall, sometimes my friends, the people that i have requested to add to my list of friends, the list goes on. so, right now i am saying "screw it! i ain't gonna spend more time on the system. yah!"

on the other hand, i hear that the facebook south african network is so deep that some of the political parties (read: the ANC and its friends) has it in their strategy to campaign for the next election even on facebook. tight, i wanna see JZ's profile. and his funwall. he he he!!!

-S.

i love you, but you are arguably the most challenging thing that has ever happened to me...

i feel like a girl.

i have exposed myself wholly and now i feel so bare and vulnerable and ... and i am finding myself in this stupid emotional rollercoaster and ... and i know that my feelings towards her are at their meanest depth but fuck, why has things turned out this way vele? why am i so unstable? why am i feeling like this? why am i even asking these questions? why? why? fuckin' why? sometimes i wish that i could just erase all the bits and patches in my memory that lead me into feeling this way. sometimes i wish that my DNA could have been encoded somewhat differently. sometimes i just wish that i cared less than i actually do. sometimes i wish that i was not this jealous. am i jealous or do i just care too much? either way, fuck it!

i hate me when me is like this.

-S.

me, i do not fall asleep...

social networking and general Web browsing is addictive. unlike some people who fall asleep while trying to get their way around the Internet, i struggle to let go of the damn laptop, put it on hibernate and dos (sleep). i find myself doing so many things (arb things at that) and forgetting to do others, which sometimes i remember to do when i wake up to go drink water in the middle of my sleep. then i would continue where i left off. such crap.

this was one of those random posts. all hail to randomness...

-S.

kunzima emhlabeni

empeleni, isihloko salombhalo asixhumani nesizathu sokuthi ngibhale lesis'qeshana. sekunesikhathi nokho ngagcina ukubhala indatshana ngolimi lwasekhaya, uma ngikhumbula kahle, sekuphele iminyaka cishe emihlanu yonke, kanti futhi kuyabonakala ukuthi ngisho noma ngisakwazi ukuhlanganisa umusho ophelele ngolwasekhaya, uhlanganiseka ngobukhulu ubunzima. engabe iyozala nkomoni ezizukulwaneni eziyolandela thina uma sekuza emkhakheni wezamasiko nobuntu? ngike ngezwa abanye abafokazi bedingida lona loludaba lwamasiko nezilimi, besho bethi nabo abacabangi ukuthi emuva kweminyaka engamashumi amabili kusukela manje, izilimi zethu ziyobe zisamsulwa kuhle kwasemandulo.

ngale kwalokho, kubalulekile bakwethu ukuthi sizame ngazo zonke izindlela ukungakhohlwa imvelaphi yethu ngoba phela yithi thina sizukulwane samanje esinomthelela owedlulele ekutheni izizukulwane eziyosilandela zibe nolwazi kanye nentshisakalo yokwazi kabanzi ngemvelaphi yabo.

okwamanje, ngiyema lapha.

-S.

dear Souper Sandwich...

it's been a while since you and me met. i long for that reunion. you were the best thing in my life for so long in the past. you had figured me out. not many people are good with that. some tried taking your place. the weird stuff at McHarry's, the Chinese delicacies and even the wors rolls and chicken burgers along Jammie stairs tried to pull a fast one on you. but no, you were too strong for them. without even trying. i liked it a lot sticky. with extra cheese. even with my eyes closed. you totally rocked! i'm sure you still do. how i miss you. how i long for you. one day. one day you and i will be reunited.

-S.

take your sms and shove it!

yah, i am sick and tired of them people that send text messages that require a response. first of all, i am not a sms fan. texting is just too tedious and expensive (on my mobile package, i pay R0.75 per text the whole day). i prefer calling.

so, if you know me and you are thinking of asking for something from me, call me. if you send an sms, forget you will ever get an answer. even if you are special. why must i pay for something that YOU want? that is how i feel and i am not sorry for the way i feel.

-S.

...the bag

sorry, there is nothing inside the bag. nothing. nada. so, what do i put inside? wait, why would i want to put something inside?

anyway, yah. i have been searching for a questionnaire. a particular questionnaire. in this bag. it's not there. obviously because the bag is empty. so can someone out there put something in this empty bag of mine? i dunno, a clue of sort? oh right, the questionnaire! is there a questionnaire that one can utilise as a deterministic method to establish whether a relationship* is (should be) over? you know, those strongly agree - agree - strongly disagree type of questionnaires?

i'm still on course. i'm out.

-S.

* a friend is looking for this btw...

pick me! pick me!

i have not updated this in a while. and it seems that each time i put something here, it starts with more or less the same line. this must really stop. currently i am on course, a refresher course really, which teaches me about stuff that i ought to have learned in varsity. nice stuff. a real breather from the work environment. [i write this post during class! sshhhh!]

i got an interesting call today. this lady was, long ago, involved with getting me some study funds from the company which i now work for. since grade 10 if i correctly recall. she has now asked if it is possible that i become a 'helper' of some of the students which are in high school through a similar program to that i underwent. these students are from a not so advantaged background and are struggling away on various aspects of their daily lives at some predominantly white 'model c' (is this term still used?) school somewhere in Bedfordview. now these aspects range from social issues to academic issues and all the inbetweens. i am looking forward to this challenge. i hope i can find a way to somehow help them through. i know from experience that it is not nice to be in an environment where you seem to not 'fit-in'. i thank her for giving me this opportunity.

right, lemme get back to the course...

-S.

the cat, the bag and the bit in-between

i have been dormant, yet again, for over a month. *sigh*. that is rather disturbing. too disturbing in fact. i blame it on the corporate Internet policies that are just too, too tight to allow us some time of our own. ok fine, it’s their time, but can’t it be stolen for just a few hours (this should really be minutes) in a day?

anyway, why did i start this post? it certainly has nothing to do with a cat. or a bag. maybe the in-between perhaps. but i doubt it. maybe liking cats. hmmm…? while on the subject of cats, big ups to the two cats that spring to mind. (Dr) Al, finishing a pea eish (usually called a PhD) ain’t a joke yho! i hope all goes well with the external examination process and everything else that will lead to you wearing that red number! ok, red gown. you are cat number one. cat number two. the way this one has guts, he probably has less lives than the nine that he originally began with. he has travelled the world (and its seven seas perhaps) over and over and is now on a special mission to enrol on one of the top-notch business schools in the universe. mind you, it’s not just as simple as filling in an application form and viola, you are in. you have to believe. spend (time, money and much more). oh, you must also have the courage as well as all the other nitty-gritties that go along with it. dude, keep on rocking yeah! most people, me especially, are inspired. by the both of ya’ll.

now, moving along to white socks. i will not say much on that topic. a picture says a thousand words.

Phathu, i took this way before your post. i thought it looked dodge. thanks for confirming that it does.

and finally, congratulations to the new additions on my “Other Blogs” section. it be a great privilege for me to have you in my blog (and vice versa. or is it just vice versa?).

aha, so this post eventually turned out to be about cats after all. and the in-betweens. where’s the bag? where the hell is the darn bag !?!

-S.

who reads your blog?

i have a fair idea of where my blog is being read from, but as to who exactly reads it, remains a mystery. a whole lot of "what ifs" start trickling in. for instance, what if it's being read by other parties which i never thought would read it? but then again, so what? after all, i am expressing myself. so, if you are out there and you have read (or will read) something directed (or not) at you or at something or someone you know, and you are not liking it, as Bender would say it, "bite my shiny, metal ass!"

-S.